The most reliable way to sleep with a snoring partner is to combine three things: get to sleep before they do, reduce the sound that reaches you with earplugs or steady background noise, and make a few gentle changes on their side, such as side-sleeping and no alcohol late in the evening. If that is not enough, sleeping in a separate room some nights is a perfectly good solution, not a failure.
And one thing to know from the start: loud snoring with pauses in breathing, gasping or choking sounds, and daytime sleepiness can be signs of sleep apnoea, which is worth a GP appointment for the snorer. More on that below.
Why snoring is so hard to sleep through
Snoring is not steady. It rises and falls, stops and restarts, changes pitch when they turn over. Your brain is built to notice change in sound, so each new snore registers, even when you are used to the general level. It is also close, often less than a metre from your ear, and it comes from someone you cannot help listening to.
There is a second problem, which is the irritation. Lying awake next to a snorer, you are not just hearing noise; you are waiting for the next one, calculating whether to nudge them, and feeling the unfairness of it. That tension keeps you awake more than the sound does, and it is the part you can work on directly.
In short: Snoring wakes you because it keeps changing and because you are listening for it. Reduce the sound, and stop keeping score.
Get to sleep first
It takes more noise to wake you from deep sleep than to stop you falling asleep in the first place. If you can be asleep before the snoring starts, you will sleep through more of it.
Practically, that means going to bed fifteen or twenty minutes before your partner, or asking them to read in another room until you are off. Snorers can help by lying on their side and staying awake until you have settled. If you are the one who takes longer to drop off, the guides to falling asleep cover ways to shorten that time.
Reduce the sound reaching you
Earplugs
For snoring, earplugs are usually the first thing to try. Foam plugs, rolled tight and inserted properly, take a large amount off a snore's volume and turn a loud snorer into a distant one. Silicone plugs are more comfortable for side sleepers and can be washed and reused; mouldable wax or putty sits over the ear opening rather than inside it, which suits people who cannot bear in-ear plugs. Fit is everything: a badly inserted plug does half the job.
Most people still hear an alarm through plugs, and a vibrating alarm or a phone under the pillow removes the worry. The earplugs buying guide compares the types, and if you are concerned about wearing them nightly, that question is answered in is it OK to sleep with earplugs every night.
Steady sound
Steady background noise, from a fan or a sound machine, raises the floor so that snores stand out less. It does not remove the sound, but it smooths out the peaks, which is the part that wakes you. Keep it at a moderate volume and place it between you and your partner, or on your side of the bed. Deeper, softer sounds tend to blend with snoring better than a high hiss. The earplugs versus white noise comparison sets out when each works better; for snoring, many people use both.
Sleep headphones
If you would rather listen to something than sit behind earplugs, a soft headband with flat speakers lets side sleepers play rain sounds, a podcast or a sleep story without anything in the ear, and small sleep earbuds combine some physical blocking with sound. They are particularly useful for the nights when you have woken at 3am and need something to focus on other than the snoring. The sleep headphones guide explains the options, and if you are torn between a headband and earbuds, the types of sleep headphones compared sets them side by side.
The three things people next to a snorer usually try
Plugs to block, steady sound to mask, and earbuds for the nights when you want something to listen to. Most people settle on one or two.
We may earn a commission if you buy through links on this page, at no extra cost to you. We only recommend product types we would consider ourselves. How we choose products.
Soft foam earplugs
Example: Mack's Ultra Soft Foam Earplugs
Foam plugs are compressed, inserted and allowed to expand. Mack's Ultra Soft are marketed as a low-pressure foam intended for sleeping and are sold in multi-packs. Foam plugs are single- or few-use and should be replaced regularly.
- Best for
- Maximum noise reduction at low cost
- Key feature
- Slow-recovery foam that expands to seal the ear canal
- Why it may help
- For steady noise such as traffic or a partner's snoring, a well-fitted foam plug usually gives the greatest reduction of the common types.
- Worth knowing
- Can feel bulky for side sleepers; disposable, so the cost adds up; check the SNR rating on the pack.
Fan-based white noise machine
Example: Marpac / Yogasleep Dohm
The Dohm is a long-established design that uses an enclosed fan and adjustable vents to produce a steady, fan-like sound. The manufacturer markets it as having two speeds with tone adjusted by rotating the housing.
- Best for
- People who want natural, non-looping white noise
- Key feature
- A real internal fan creates the sound, so there is no digital loop
- Why it may help
- Digital machines can have audible loop points that some people notice. A fan-based machine produces continuous sound with no loop, and no need for a screen or app.
- Worth knowing
- One type of sound only (no brown or pink noise options); uses mains power; check the UK plug version.
Small in-ear sleep earbuds
Example: Anker Soundcore Sleep series; Bose Sleepbuds (discontinued, second-hand only)
Sleep-specific earbuds are marketed as smaller and flatter than standard earbuds so that lying on a pillow does not push them into the ear. Some models are designed mainly for masking sounds via an app; check whether a model streams normal Bluetooth audio if that matters to you.
- Best for
- People who want noise masking and audio in a compact form
- Key feature
- Low-profile earbuds designed to sit flush with the ear
- Why it may help
- They combine some passive noise blocking with audio, which suits people who want both a plug and a sound in one device.
- Worth knowing
- Fit varies widely between ears; app dependence on some models; batteries degrade over time.
Changes on their side
Snoring is not something people do on purpose, and most snorers are embarrassed about it, so this works better as a shared project than a complaint.
- Side sleeping. Most people snore more on their back, because the tongue and soft palate fall backwards. A firm pillow behind their back, or a body pillow to hug, keeps them on their side. The old trick of a tennis ball sewn into the back of a T-shirt still works.
- No alcohol in the evening. Alcohol relaxes the throat muscles and reliably makes snoring louder. Two or three alcohol-free evenings will show whether this is a big factor.
- A clear nose. A blocked nose from a cold, hay fever or dust forces mouth breathing, which is noisier. Nasal strips, a saline rinse or treating the allergy can help.
- Head slightly raised. An extra pillow or raising the head of the bed a few centimetres helps some people.
- Weight and smoking. Both make snoring worse, and the NHS lists losing excess weight and stopping smoking among the things that help. This is a conversation for a calm moment, not 3am.
Separate rooms, without the stigma
A great many couples sleep in separate rooms, or separate beds in the same room, and it has nothing to do with the state of the relationship. Two people with different noise levels, different temperatures and different schedules in one bed is a lot to ask.
If a spare room or a sofa bed exists, use it on the nights you need it. Some couples go to bed together and one moves after the other is asleep; some alternate; some sleep apart on work nights and together at weekends. What tends to make it work is treating it as a practical arrangement about sleep, agreed in daylight, rather than a punishment handed out in the dark.
When to stop nudging and start worrying
Ordinary snoring is a nuisance. Snoring that includes any of the following can be a sign of obstructive sleep apnoea, a condition where the airway closes briefly and repeatedly during sleep:
- Pauses in breathing, followed by a gasp, snort or choking sound.
- Very loud snoring most nights.
- Waking with a headache or a dry mouth, and feeling unrefreshed.
- Falling asleep in the day, at the desk, in front of the TV, or worryingly at the wheel.
- High blood pressure, or waking often in the night to pass urine.
You are in a good position to notice the pauses, because the snorer never does. Sleep apnoea is common, is treatable, and untreated it raises the risk of heart problems and accidents. Encourage them to see their GP and describe what you have heard; the when to see a GP about sleep guide covers what to expect. A recording on your phone can help make the case.
If you have woken anyway
Some nights you will wake at 3am to a snore, plugs or not. The temptation is to lie there fuming. Put the plugs in or the sound on if you had not already, turn away from the noise, and give your mind something else to do rather than counting snores. If twenty minutes pass and you are wide awake, get up briefly, sit somewhere dim and quiet, and go back when you feel sleepy. The guide to getting back to sleep after waking goes through this step by step.
Where to go next
Tonight: go up first, plugs in or a fan on, and a firm pillow behind their back. This week: an alcohol-free evening or two and a listen for pauses. If the snoring is loud with breathing gaps, a GP appointment for them is the most useful thing on this page.
For the rest of the bedroom, the Sleep Environment guides cover noise from outside, light and temperature, which all matter more when you are already sleeping lightly.
Frequently asked questions
Do anti-snoring pillows and nasal strips work?
Nasal strips can help a little when the snoring comes from a blocked or narrow nose, and they are cheap enough to try. Anti-snoring pillows that encourage side-sleeping help some people whose snoring is worse on their back. Neither does much for snoring caused by the throat relaxing, and neither treats sleep apnoea.
Is it bad to sleep in separate rooms?
No. Plenty of couples sleep apart some or all of the time and are perfectly happy; poor sleep is much more damaging to a relationship than a spare room. If it helps, keep bedtime together and move rooms afterwards, so that the separate bed is about sleep rather than distance.
Why does snoring get worse after drinking?
Alcohol relaxes the muscles of the throat more than usual, so the airway narrows and vibrates more. Snoring is usually loudest in the first few hours after drinking, which is also when you are trying to fall asleep. Cutting out alcohol in the evening is one of the most reliable ways to reduce it.
Sources and further reading
- NHS: Snoring
- NHS: Sleep apnoea
- The Sleep Charity: The Sleep Charity
- Sleep Foundation: Sleep Foundation
This page contains affiliate links. As an Amazon Associate, Quiet Mind Sleep earns from qualifying purchases. Read our affiliate disclosure.
Written and reviewed by the Quiet Mind Sleep editorial team in line with our editorial policy. Spotted an error? Let us know.
